If you had to help someone who’s VERY selfish – someone who even helps people so that she’ll get something in return, in future – would you?
I’m guessing you wouldn’t. But what if that person pestered you every single day to help her?
Okay I’m going to make it simpler now. This girl A, she couldn’t attend college for a month. And now she’s asking me to give her my notes for the whole month. I don’t have a problem with helping someone. I love helping people. But I do have a problem with helping a selfish person. Also, I have a doubt that she’s just using me. So I’m thinking I’m not going to help her.
Do you think I’m doing the right thing?
Or do you think I should just help her to stop that guilty feeling from creeping into my mind? Should I just help her and get done with it? Because she was a friend some time ago, and we’ve had our ‘good memories’. Kind of. Only, now she’s not. But still, how can I tell her “NO, I won’t help you because I don’t like you very much.”? Can I? More importantly, Should I?
love expressing 
Your rant blog is ten bazillion times better than mine!!!!!!
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Whaaat? Where did this come from? 😛
Dude, no, I loveee your blog. Today I couldn’t find your post in my reader, so I went to your site to check if there were new posts! I bet you can’t say the same about my blog! 😛
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Please. This post was awesome!!!
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Hahahah, okay, thanks. I guess. 😛
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That’s a tough situation! Part of me would like to help for the sole fact that I want everyone to succeed but the other half of me would be bitter over the fact that you put in all of that time while they didn’t. I’m curious as to what you ultimately end up doing 🙂
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Oh boy. I was hoping you had some advice for me when I saw the notification “human interest commented”. 😛
You just made me more confused, lol. You’re so right, by the way. I do want her to succeed.
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Help her then this one time but never again lol sorry to disappoint earlier 😉
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Hahahah, nope, it was far from disappointment! I like comments no matter what they are, on my posts! It shows people care. And the care is way more valuable than an advice. 🙂
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Good, I’m glad! I’ll keep the care coming then 😉
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Oh yeah, please do! 😀
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With pleasure!
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😀
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What did you end up doing about that situation?
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I haven’t ended up doing anything yet.. She’s going to turn up in a week or so. So you’ll get your answer after a week now! But the thing is she calls almost everyday which I find a tad bit annoying.
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Damn, I hate waiting lol but that’s ridiculous. In that case, I wouldn’t give her anything! She seems like she is just an all-around annoying person who doesn’t deserve the help.
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Hahahaha, you’re so right!! 😀
I’ll let you know what happens!
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Okay, please do! Oh, and good luck 😉
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Thank you!! 😀 oh and by the way, may I know what your name is? 😛
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You’re welcome! Whoops, I thought you knew it already… I apologize! The name is Benjamin 🙂
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Hahaha, okay cool! Nope I didn’t know it! It’s weird asking someone their name after a conversation, but whatever, I had to ask. 😛
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What’s your name?
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It’s Shubhada! 🙂
It’s a little… Unique, lol.
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🙂 Nice name unique names are awesome. My native name is Kuwa Sumanitu Taka. 🙂 I am Lakota.
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Ohhh, what does your name to mean? It’s pretty unique. I’m gonna call you Kuwa from now on, then!
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Pursuing wolf. Kuwa is a nice name dome call me. 🙂
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Woah! Pursuing wolf! That’s awesome. Kuwa! 😀
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Interesting name! Definitely one of a kind lol I’ve never met a woman with the same name as you 😉
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Hahah, I’m sure you haven’t!
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That’s awesome!
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Yes I would and I have. It always comes back to bite them in the butt but I don’t feel guilty because I can be the better person. 🙂
/hugs
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Yes, exactly! I don’t want to be the bad person, here! But should I let her ‘use’ me?
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Well I took the notes true. But what harm comes from giving her a copy of my notes? Nothing at all. And in the end I did the right thing. So in a manner of speaking yes you could let her “use” you. Now if it’s an all the time thing I might make an excuse how my notes were lost. /wink
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Hahahah! “Sorry girl, I’ve lost my notes.”
A little too obvious, don’t you think? 😛
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Only if it became an everyday type thing. I will always help once but if every month she was out and it became a habit. Yup sorry the dog ate my notes, that or go out and put them in dog poop then in a bag and hand them over. /smirk… keep yourself a copy.
Help is one thing, always doing it for her is using you. If this is a first time then yes absolutely help her. It’s what good people do and you’re good people.
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Yeah.. You’re awesome Michelle. I’ll help her once. And then if it happens again I’ll blow her off. Thank you. :*
*hugs and kisses*
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If you are afraid that she will use if you help her then don’t help her.
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I don’t know whether she’s trying to use me.
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I guess you should do what makes you feel happy .. And helping has no face. Help is a help, you don’t judge people when you try to help.
I am sure you want to help her otherwise there was no need to ask us, you r in a dilemma created by your own. So being a helpful , beautiful soul just help her.
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Hmm.. That helps. I’ll just do what makes me happy. I guess I’ll help her a little and if she tries to ask too much out of me I’ll just tell her to get lost, lol.
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Hahaha.. That’s sounds good too!!
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Heheh. 😀
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Helping and letting people depend on you I two different things … Help her, but not let her rely on you. So thoda help is kool….
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Yes! Thank you for your advice! 🙂
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Always welcome! 🙂
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🙂
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Help her …because that’s who you are…you are good from within and your reaction should be triggered by the situation and rarely by the person involved…I think that came a bit wrong…sounded better in my head. But the point is go on and help her…it would simply define you not her.
-S
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Yeah.. Many of my blogger friends are suggesting that to me. And haha, I got your point. I know what you’re trying to say. I guess I’ll help her this one time.
Thank you, Soumi! 🙂
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You are welcome,S!
-S
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I think the basic question is, would you like your response to her request to be based upon who/what she is or who ‘you’ are? 🙂
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Wow. You put a hell lot of meaning in that one precise sentence. Yeah. I’m not going to do anything that’s against my nature. I’ll go with the flow. 🙂
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Brevity is the soul of wit. 🙂
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Oh yes, it is! 🙂
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That’s tough! I think we have all been in those shoes. I’m ultra competitive so secretly I don’t want to help anyone unless they really couldn’t prevent it – like if they were in a comatose state from being hit by a car. What did you end up doing ?
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Haha, yeah! I haven’t ended up doing anything yet. She’ll start coming to college in a week I think. And then there’s no escape. You can ignore the person’s calls but you can’t ignore THEM, right? 😛
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I wrote an article inspired by this post 😮 And to answer your question….I am not sure :I
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Oh, that’s cool, I’ll check it out. 🙂
And no problem, I’ll figure something out.
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not sure if you would consider my comment. you can give your notes. knowledge is to be shared . no one can take knowledge from you . if not she herself can make a some notes if she isnt lazy enough . information is everywhere . dont think too much about if she is using you or not . think you are helping her succeed . you would be 10 times greater than her . but yeah take the damn notes back when you need. dont hamper your studies.
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I know knowledge should be shared. I would give it to ANYONE but her. Because she’s selfish. She does things for her selfish motives. And I don’t like such people. Why should I help a person who I don’t like?
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ok im just giving my opinion 🙂 .i prefer making my own notes cuz it simply gives a room to refer multiple info sources and collect and customize info according to my wish than just copying from someone else. but question is what would be worst case scenario if u give ? better say a strong NO to her now 🙂
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Thanks for sharing your opinion.. Even I prefer making my own notes. It’s easier to read from your own notes. And if you insist, I’ll try my best to be nice to her. 🙂
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olled agli 🙂
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😀
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Without telling why she is selfish it is hard to tell who is right .
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Well, I don’t know why exactly she behaves the way she does. But I think she doesn’t have an emotional or some other psychological problem that’s forcing her to be selfish. She’s just selfish because it’s easier for her that way..
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When you help others, it makes you feel better. You feel up. And most importantly, you may be the only one to help her. So, do her a favor of different magnitude this time. Give her more than what she is asking you for. She will start feeling guilty of not helping you back the past times. 🙂
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Yeah.. Thanks for your sharing your opinion! Really appreciate it! But I’m just going to stop thinking about it right now, and cross the bridge when it comes. 🙂
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Yo !!
Please let your followers know about the notes that gained so much of attention. *smiles*
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Hahahahahah, yeah I sure will! 🙂 😀
Thanks for reminding me to do that!
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Lol !!
Did you really thank me for that??
Well , your welcome 😊
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Hahaha, yes. There’s nothing really wrong with being grateful, is there? 😛
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No no 😊
Grateful people are the nicest personalities.
Be Great_ful 😊
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Hahahah. Yes! 🙂 ❤
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You help here, Shooby Doo. Otherwise you’re the selfish person, to her. Always listen to that little nag in your head. When ignored, it can become a big scream, you know. That’s no fun. You lose nothing and keep your dignity by helping her. So what if she’s playing you. You still win in your own head, Shooby Doo, and that’s what’s the most important.
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Yeah!! Wow, this just cleared EVERYTHING for me! Thank you, PM!! ❤❤❤
You’re so right, I don’t want the little nag turn into a scream. And I want to win in my own head. Yes, that’s what I want. Thank you!!
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You’re welcome, Shooby Doo. Glad to be here for you, ❤
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Glad to have you here for me. 😀 💜
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