Helping A Selfish Person

If you had to help someone who’s VERY selfish – someone who even helps people so that she’ll get something in return, in future – would you?

I’m guessing you wouldn’t. But what if that person pestered you every single day to help her?

Okay I’m going to make it simpler now. This girl A, she couldn’t attend college for a month. And now she’s asking me to give her my notes for the whole month. I don’t have a problem with helping someone. I love helping people. But I do have a problem with helping a selfish person. Also, I have a doubt that she’s just using me. So I’m thinking I’m not going to help her.

Do you think I’m doing the right thing?

Or do you think I should just help her to stop that guilty feeling from creeping into my mind? Should I just help her and get done with it? Because she was a friend some time ago, and we’ve had our ‘good memories’. Kind of. Only, now she’s not. But still, how can I tell her “NO, I won’t help you because I don’t like you very much.”? Can I? More importantly, Should I?

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77 Comments Add yours

  1. Little Rants says:

    Your rant blog is ten bazillion times better than mine!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. shubhada says:

      Whaaat? Where did this come from? 😛

      Dude, no, I loveee your blog. Today I couldn’t find your post in my reader, so I went to your site to check if there were new posts! I bet you can’t say the same about my blog! 😛

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Little Rants says:

        Please. This post was awesome!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Hahahah, okay, thanks. I guess. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Human Interest says:

    That’s a tough situation! Part of me would like to help for the sole fact that I want everyone to succeed but the other half of me would be bitter over the fact that you put in all of that time while they didn’t. I’m curious as to what you ultimately end up doing 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. shubhada says:

      Oh boy. I was hoping you had some advice for me when I saw the notification “human interest commented”. 😛

      You just made me more confused, lol. You’re so right, by the way. I do want her to succeed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Human Interest says:

        Help her then this one time but never again lol sorry to disappoint earlier 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Hahahah, nope, it was far from disappointment! I like comments no matter what they are, on my posts! It shows people care. And the care is way more valuable than an advice. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Human Interest says:

        Good, I’m glad! I’ll keep the care coming then 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      4. shubhada says:

        Oh yeah, please do! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Human Interest says:

        With pleasure!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Human Interest says:

        What did you end up doing about that situation?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. shubhada says:

        I haven’t ended up doing anything yet.. She’s going to turn up in a week or so. So you’ll get your answer after a week now! But the thing is she calls almost everyday which I find a tad bit annoying.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Human Interest says:

        Damn, I hate waiting lol but that’s ridiculous. In that case, I wouldn’t give her anything! She seems like she is just an all-around annoying person who doesn’t deserve the help.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. shubhada says:

        Hahahaha, you’re so right!! 😀
        I’ll let you know what happens!

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Human Interest says:

        Okay, please do! Oh, and good luck 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      11. shubhada says:

        Thank you!! 😀 oh and by the way, may I know what your name is? 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Human Interest says:

        You’re welcome! Whoops, I thought you knew it already… I apologize! The name is Benjamin 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      13. shubhada says:

        Hahaha, okay cool! Nope I didn’t know it! It’s weird asking someone their name after a conversation, but whatever, I had to ask. 😛

        Like

      14. Human Interest says:

        What’s your name?

        Like

      15. shubhada says:

        It’s Shubhada! 🙂
        It’s a little… Unique, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. 🙂 Nice name unique names are awesome. My native name is Kuwa Sumanitu Taka. 🙂 I am Lakota.

        Liked by 1 person

      17. shubhada says:

        Ohhh, what does your name to mean? It’s pretty unique. I’m gonna call you Kuwa from now on, then!

        Liked by 1 person

      18. Pursuing wolf. Kuwa is a nice name dome call me. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      19. shubhada says:

        Woah! Pursuing wolf! That’s awesome. Kuwa! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      20. Human Interest says:

        Interesting name! Definitely one of a kind lol I’ve never met a woman with the same name as you 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      21. shubhada says:

        Hahah, I’m sure you haven’t!

        Liked by 1 person

      22. Human Interest says:

        That’s awesome!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes I would and I have. It always comes back to bite them in the butt but I don’t feel guilty because I can be the better person. 🙂
    /hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Yes, exactly! I don’t want to be the bad person, here! But should I let her ‘use’ me?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I took the notes true. But what harm comes from giving her a copy of my notes? Nothing at all. And in the end I did the right thing. So in a manner of speaking yes you could let her “use” you. Now if it’s an all the time thing I might make an excuse how my notes were lost. /wink

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Hahahah! “Sorry girl, I’ve lost my notes.”
        A little too obvious, don’t you think? 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Only if it became an everyday type thing. I will always help once but if every month she was out and it became a habit. Yup sorry the dog ate my notes, that or go out and put them in dog poop then in a bag and hand them over. /smirk… keep yourself a copy.

        Help is one thing, always doing it for her is using you. If this is a first time then yes absolutely help her. It’s what good people do and you’re good people.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. shubhada says:

        Yeah.. You’re awesome Michelle. I’ll help her once. And then if it happens again I’ll blow her off. Thank you. :*
        *hugs and kisses*

        Liked by 1 person

  4. bhatmahesht says:

    If you are afraid that she will use if you help her then don’t help her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      I don’t know whether she’s trying to use me. :\

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Bobby says:

    I guess you should do what makes you feel happy .. And helping has no face. Help is a help, you don’t judge people when you try to help.
    I am sure you want to help her otherwise there was no need to ask us, you r in a dilemma created by your own. So being a helpful , beautiful soul just help her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Hmm.. That helps. I’ll just do what makes me happy. I guess I’ll help her a little and if she tries to ask too much out of me I’ll just tell her to get lost, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bobby says:

        Hahaha.. That’s sounds good too!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Heheh. 😀

        Like

      3. Bobby says:

        Helping and letting people depend on you I two different things … Help her, but not let her rely on you. So thoda help is kool….

        Liked by 1 person

      4. shubhada says:

        Yes! Thank you for your advice! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Bobby says:

        Always welcome! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Help her …because that’s who you are…you are good from within and your reaction should be triggered by the situation and rarely by the person involved…I think that came a bit wrong…sounded better in my head. But the point is go on and help her…it would simply define you not her.
    -S

    Liked by 2 people

    1. shubhada says:

      Yeah.. Many of my blogger friends are suggesting that to me. And haha, I got your point. I know what you’re trying to say. I guess I’ll help her this one time.

      Thank you, Soumi! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome,S!
        -S

        Liked by 1 person

  7. hbhatnagar says:

    I think the basic question is, would you like your response to her request to be based upon who/what she is or who ‘you’ are? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. shubhada says:

      Wow. You put a hell lot of meaning in that one precise sentence. Yeah. I’m not going to do anything that’s against my nature. I’ll go with the flow. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hbhatnagar says:

        Brevity is the soul of wit. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. shubhada says:

        Oh yes, it is! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. ACoupleTalks says:

    That’s tough! I think we have all been in those shoes. I’m ultra competitive so secretly I don’t want to help anyone unless they really couldn’t prevent it – like if they were in a comatose state from being hit by a car. What did you end up doing ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Haha, yeah! I haven’t ended up doing anything yet. She’ll start coming to college in a week I think. And then there’s no escape. You can ignore the person’s calls but you can’t ignore THEM, right? 😛

      Like

  9. I wrote an article inspired by this post 😮 And to answer your question….I am not sure :I

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Oh, that’s cool, I’ll check it out. 🙂
      And no problem, I’ll figure something out.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. theonlysup says:

    not sure if you would consider my comment. you can give your notes. knowledge is to be shared . no one can take knowledge from you . if not she herself can make a some notes if she isnt lazy enough . information is everywhere . dont think too much about if she is using you or not . think you are helping her succeed . you would be 10 times greater than her . but yeah take the damn notes back when you need. dont hamper your studies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      I know knowledge should be shared. I would give it to ANYONE but her. Because she’s selfish. She does things for her selfish motives. And I don’t like such people. Why should I help a person who I don’t like?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. theonlysup says:

        ok im just giving my opinion 🙂 .i prefer making my own notes cuz it simply gives a room to refer multiple info sources and collect and customize info according to my wish than just copying from someone else. but question is what would be worst case scenario if u give ? better say a strong NO to her now 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Thanks for sharing your opinion.. Even I prefer making my own notes. It’s easier to read from your own notes. And if you insist, I’ll try my best to be nice to her. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. theonlysup says:

        olled agli 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. mumbaslife says:

    Without telling why she is selfish it is hard to tell who is right .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Well, I don’t know why exactly she behaves the way she does. But I think she doesn’t have an emotional or some other psychological problem that’s forcing her to be selfish. She’s just selfish because it’s easier for her that way..

      Like

  12. When you help others, it makes you feel better. You feel up. And most importantly, you may be the only one to help her. So, do her a favor of different magnitude this time. Give her more than what she is asking you for. She will start feeling guilty of not helping you back the past times. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Yeah.. Thanks for your sharing your opinion! Really appreciate it! But I’m just going to stop thinking about it right now, and cross the bridge when it comes. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yo !!
        Please let your followers know about the notes that gained so much of attention. *smiles*

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Hahahahahah, yeah I sure will! 🙂 😀
        Thanks for reminding me to do that!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lol !!
        Did you really thank me for that??
        Well , your welcome 😊

        Like

      4. shubhada says:

        Hahaha, yes. There’s nothing really wrong with being grateful, is there? 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      5. No no 😊
        Grateful people are the nicest personalities.
        Be Great_ful 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      6. shubhada says:

        Hahahah. Yes! 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  13. markbialczak says:

    You help here, Shooby Doo. Otherwise you’re the selfish person, to her. Always listen to that little nag in your head. When ignored, it can become a big scream, you know. That’s no fun. You lose nothing and keep your dignity by helping her. So what if she’s playing you. You still win in your own head, Shooby Doo, and that’s what’s the most important.

    Like

    1. shubhada says:

      Yeah!! Wow, this just cleared EVERYTHING for me! Thank you, PM!! ❤❤❤

      You’re so right, I don’t want the little nag turn into a scream. And I want to win in my own head. Yes, that’s what I want. Thank you!!

      Like

      1. markbialczak says:

        You’re welcome, Shooby Doo. Glad to be here for you, ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Glad to have you here for me. 😀 💜

        Like

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