It’s Just So Stupid

How to do it? Leave your family and start a new one?

My parents, my sibling – they’ve been such an integral part of my life, of me. How do I let go of me, then, and start a new family? Away from my OWN family?

How can life be so.. ‘Unfair’ is not a right word. How can life be so unreasonable? So.. Stupid?

Because that’s what the idea of leaving your family, leaving a part of your soul is to me. It’s stupid. Why would anyone want to do that? WHY?

I was just thinking – There are two beds in my room. In a few years, there’ll be only one. Two cupboards. In a few years just one. There are girly things like bracelet and clips lying on my bed side. In a few years, it’ll be empty. All my files will be gone, all my books, all my clothes, all my belongings – everything will be shifted to a new place.

While my family will continue life like nothing has changed. Won’t that be weird?

I’m such an integral part of all the important discussions and debates and decisions that take place in this house. Soon, I’ll no longer even be in the picture.

The sofa will no longer be occupied 24*7 (I actually get scolded because I’m on the sofa all day).

This place I call home – will no longer be that. And it’s just so gut wrenchingly painful, you have no idea.

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