The fire inside me

I always tend to do things I’ll regret later. What did I do today? I spoke.

There’s nothing wrong with speaking. Atleast not when you’re angry. But today I spoke up when I was livid like CRAZY. I can’t even bear to think about the words that came through my mouth. It seems like someone else was saying those words.

Then why do I speak when I’m infuriated? Why can’t I control myself? I think I become evil when I’m angry. I say hurtful things with the intention of hurting. I hurt people knowing that its hurting them. I continue throwing words like daggers, glad that I’m aiming those daggers straight through their heart. Glad that I can hurt people back when they hurt me. Glad that all that anger that was eating me from inside is finally coming out in the form of uncontrollable fire. And glad that coolness will replace it soon.

Only, the coolness never comes. The devil inside me made me believe it’ll come. But only grief replaced the fire. Grief that I hurt the person I love. That my loved one had to face the evil inside me. That I have infact lost a part of myself, burnt by the fire inside me.