The fire inside me

on

I always tend to do things I’ll regret later. What did I do today? I spoke.

There’s nothing wrong with speaking. Atleast not when you’re angry. But today I spoke up when I was livid like CRAZY. I can’t even bear to think about the words that came through my mouth. It seems like someone else was saying those words.

Then why do I speak when I’m infuriated? Why can’t I control myself? I think I become evil when I’m angry. I say hurtful things with the intention of hurting. I hurt people knowing that its hurting them. I continue throwing words like daggers, glad that I’m aiming those daggers straight through their heart. Glad that I can hurt people back when they hurt me. Glad that all that anger that was eating me from inside is finally coming out in the form of uncontrollable fire. And glad that coolness will replace it soon.

Only, the coolness never comes. The devil inside me made me believe it’ll come. But only grief replaced the fire. Grief that I hurt the person I love. That my loved one had to face the evil inside me. That I have infact lost a part of myself, burnt by the fire inside me.

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. bhavpreet says:

    Dear when some one loves you , they mean they love your devil to live with … if they really love you .. only then .. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  2. upenreddy says:

    Angry mind is a narrow mind. Think twice before you say something to someone.. Trust me your anger will just melt like ice.:)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. shubhada says:

      Yes, but that’s the problem. You aren’t really ‘thinking’ when you’re angry. I’ll definitely try to think next time, though. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You can hurt only your loved ones, the rest just could not feel that hurt I believe. And, yeah your beloved won’t mind that at all because they already know that you hold rights to get angry on them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. shubhada says:

      I only hope so!! It’s just that I don’t think we hold the right to hurt ANYBODY. Not even the ones you love…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. markbialczak says:

    They’ll forgive you probably faster than you’ll forgive yourself, Shubhada. I think you’ve learned your lesson, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Well I only hope so! Your words are really comforting… Thank you SO much! πŸ™‚
      And I have learnt my lesson, but I don’t know whether it’s enough to restraint myself the next time. :/

      Like

  5. mustahibah says:

    This is perfect description of myself.
    But its good to express the anger because at least you hold no grudges πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shubhada says:

      Oh yeah, you’re right about that! πŸ™‚
      Once I errupt like a volcano, I’m all cool. Next day except for a little guilt I feel completely fine! As if a huge weight has lifted from my shoulder! πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mustahibah says:

        Yup πŸ˜€
        And you know there is saying about these volcano-type-people.. They are very friendly because they forget bad things as soon as they Erupt πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. shubhada says:

        Hahaha. Yeah! πŸ˜€
        Thanks for that. I’ll tell this to mom when she lectures me about my anger issues. πŸ˜›

        Liked by 1 person

      3. mustahibah says:

        Hahahahha πŸ˜€
        Though i know this saying but i never told to my mom.
        Because the next moment I will recieve a flying chappal

        Liked by 1 person

      4. shubhada says:

        Hahahahah. πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

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